Sunday, 23 January 2011

How to create a powerful vision

- Create a compelling vision that PULLS. For example, if you have decided to work out regurarly you have plenty of options when it comes to creating a vision. One vision could be all about your discipline, hard work and really pushing yourself. Another one could be all about the way you are going to look when the hard work starts to pay off and the attention you will attract from beautiful girls when your health is great. In reality there is nothing wrong with either of them, however you want to create a vision that pulls. What is most compelling for you? Working hard or looking extremely good and getting validation? If it is most compelling for you to get validation and look good, make it your vision. Ignore your own little inner moralist/self development voice that tries to ignore the need for approval. But DO NOT mistake this with the fact that you are doing it purely for yourself. The vision is just what pulls you forward. Reasons comes first. Answers comes second.

- Find enough reasons to support the vision when the going gets tough. I advice you to try to look beneth the surface on this one and focus on actions instead of outcomes/approval. If you work out regurarly for two years how will this effect other areas of your life? Are you going to become motivated to take action in other aspects of your life? Is the energy boost from working out going to create more oppertunities for you to do what you really want? Take a few minutes and really contemplate here.

- Create a VisionBoard. I would actually start with writing your vison down. The key is to be clear with what you want. Do not write “I want money”. Write how much money you want, how you are going to get it and so on. Be specific. When you have done that and covered all aspects of your vision create a VisionBoard. Add pictures that supports your vision. Do not just add some random pictures and then close the document. Take your time and look at them. Get aroused by the beatiful girls. Start to imagine things, visualize what you want to do. How do you want your life to be? Imagine if you would wake up one day without the feeling of neediness. Put on some chill music. Live in your own world. Do this for thirty minutes or more each day. After a while you feel aroused/relaxed/happy by just thinking about opening your document.

- Review it and FEEL it everyday. You can change your vision how much you like. Do not try to control what you desire, simply adjust your vision and move in a little bit of another direction. The difficult part here is to have a crystal clear vision that is beautiful yet you do not feel any resistance about changing it. Takes some time. If you want to take it a level further you can do what Steve Pavlina does. Which is to reinforce your vision by simply imagining the life you want whenever you have time to. Driving your car to work? Put on some music, think of your vision and start to spin your imagination. Going to bed? Sit down first for fifteen minutes and do the same thing.

- At this point reticular activation system (A part of the brain that filters and focuses on what is important.) starts to do its work. Notice as when you walk down the street your brain is more focused on finding more things that reinforces your vision. Oppertunities will start to show up. KEY - Use your courage here. Do not just wait for things to happen, make them happen. You are going to find a way or make a way.

- Raise your standards. This is not the same thing as raising your success barrier. It is simply to transform your “wants” into “musts”. You no longer want to work out four times a week. You must. The strongest force in the whole human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.

- Back up the standards with what is real – rituals. Things you do consistently to get momentum. This is very important. Human beings are creatures of habits. Create the habits that moves you closer to your core and a value offering mindset.

- The standards and beliefs we live with are often set a long time ago. We condition ourselves, ”it is the way I am” and we make it a part of our identity. Take a look at any place you got a limitation and ask when did I accept that limiting belief? You might not percieve it as a limitaion, just as I am. Start to question it. Remember that beautiful inner world of yours, that is actually more real than your limitation. Move towards it. Ask yourself everyday. Am I moving closer to manifasting my great inner world?

- Lastly view all this work as expanding your identity, not changing it. You do not need to change, you need to evolve.

Friday, 7 January 2011

It is only our willingness to feel worse that will make us feel better

When we are not as happy as we would like to be or when we have a feeling of lack, we tend to believe it is our willingness to feel better that is going to make us feel happy again. At least we think that it is the first step to feel great. We also like to stay in the emotional state we are in. If we are feeling down at home and watching television, we tend to want to stay there. Of course we are going to stay there if we believe that our willingness to feel good is what makes us feel good. I mean, we are already feeling down, why would we get up and spend more energy? That would make us feel even worse and it would drastically go against our willingness to feel good.

It is the same thing when we are at the club (or wherever we like to socialize). If we are sitting there comfortably with our friends, drinking and looking around, of course we want to stay there. We want to be happy, so why would we stupidly run around and approach people that might not like us? That is spending a lot of energy on something that might turn out bad. Idiotic we think, and light another cigarette.

I used to be that guy. Not anymore though. Sure, there are times when I just sit there with a glass of beer and literally do nothing. But you see, I only do that if I feel good already. I do not sit there and believe that it is going to make me feel any better. If that is what you are doing, you are making excuses. Some people do not even realize that if you are not doing anything due to a belief (it is my willingness to feel good that is going to make me feel good) that they are making excuses and not taking responsibility for the quality of their experience.

It is difficult for me to grasp how some people want to socialize and have fun but at the same time not taking action towards that goal. From my point of view, the people I am talking about here are usually guys but occasionally you see a group of girls in the same kind of mood. If you ask these guys why they are not approaching girls I have found out that they usually say that they do not want to get rejected. Well, is not this the ultimate kind of chodery?

If you would have asked the caveman back in cavemen days why he did not go out and hunt animals for food, would he tell you that he did not want to because of the risk of getting killed? No he decided to step up and take responsibility for himself and his people and go and kill those animals. On the rare occasion he would get killed. But again, we are approaching girls here, not lions.

It is only our willingness to feel worse that is going to make us feel better.

The willingness to be rejected and fail in the context of approaching girls will serve you well. Furthermore the principle can be applied to pretty much anything in your life. Your work, your health, your financial situation and in your relationships. Apply it to anything. If you are sitting there and skimming through different articles on RSDN in spite of taking action, think of this.

Let us bring it back to social conditioning guys. Think of what advertisement tries to put in our heads. The magic pill mentality. They are basically saying that if we just get this product or service we will become happy and never really have to feel bad again. Hell, a lot people are even chasing circumstances and external things their whole life that they believe will make them happy and protect them from ever feeling bad again. In spite of really living and realizing that feeling bad now and then is not going to kill you. I do not want that passive shit. I say fuck that. I want to live on my edge in a state comfortable uncertainty. Did you join this community thinking that if you just understand and apply what RSD teaches you will become perpetually happy and never risk to feel bad ever again? Well, think again.

It is actually the complete opposite of that. It comes down to defying social conditioning and realizing the truth about your limiting beliefs. And letting go of them, one after another. To me, it is about letting go of these shelters and layers that protects us from feeling vulnerable. And you know, feeling vulnerable can really suck if you are not used to it. But if you live your life through that feeling, plenty of opportunities will start to show up for you and eventually you will start to feel comfortable with your vulnerability. A man who is comfortable with feeling vulnerable is an attractive man.

(It is only our willingness to feel worse that will make us feel better, a quote from the book Radical Honesty written by Brad Blanton.)

Monday, 3 January 2011


This blog will soon become a website. Most likely

Keep your eyes open.

I will share the website with a guy that I have spoken to over RSDN(forum) about writing articles and offering value. He basically has the same vision about this as I have. I am very excited about this.


Saturday, 1 January 2011

The most awesome thing about self development

I have been into self development for three years now. It has been a crazy ride, an emotional roller coaster. I have learned a lot and finally I have been able to get some of the pieces together. My blog is a result of that. I have finally started to realize that my journey is for real. This is it. My life, unfolding every moment in front of me. I feel in charge, and it feels great. After years of blaming my parents, blaming my conditions and friends I can now finally look myself in the mirror and honestly tell myself that I take responsibility for the quality of my experience.

I am deeply starting to internalize the principles I have been studying throughout high school. What does it mean to trust yourself? What is core confidence? Why have I been so hard on myself for so long for no apparent reason? Why did I cry about my weight when growing up even though I was totally in shape and had the perfect amount of body fat? Why did I hate myself?

It starts to make sense now. Reality is entirely subjective, and you are in charge of it, weather you know it or not. I have been chasing circumstances and outcomes to be able to fill the empty place inside of myself and by believing that if I create a sense of self that has the best reflection in the eyes' of others, I will be happy. And I still do. We all do it to an extent and very few of us will be able to entirely erase the approval seeking pattern.

There is a time and place for me to tell my story. To take a deep breath and really look within. To let what I want to express about my past arise. To hold it and shape it. That time, however, is not now.

Now is a time to ask yourself a question. Why do you like yourself? Is it because you have worked so hard and finally your income is 40k a month? Is it because you finally hooked up with that beautiful bitch at the club? I mean, why in the name of god, are we guys so far up our own asses when it comes to girls? It is just a girl. She just wants to have fun. So should you.

And furthermore, how are we even able to create such a retarded “means to an end” identity for them? The alpha man back in cave man times did not give a damn about if the girls gave him approval or not. He just decided to step the fuck up and do what he could, to be able to carry himself through the world with the most strength and with the most ease. However, I believe that a man's core purpose in life is to be such a powerful and strong man that he is the best possible option for a woman. To take care of her. To create a feeling of security for her.

This is where most guys do not realize what to do. They do not realize that they have to flip the coin. To become a man who attracts beautiful girls you first have to become the man you want to become. Not after you have been with hundreds of girls can you tap yourself on your back and give yourself approval. No, the woman and the sex is not even the outcomes to strive for. It is a byproduct in process of becoming the man you want to become.

Society shapes us. It shapes us to look at the surface of things. To be confident in life we have to own the right things. We have to get the right job. We have to look good. We have to wear the best clothes. We have to manipulate our way through layers of bullshit to finally be able to like ourselves and others. We have to climb.

A lot of people believe that happiness comes from this, but ultimately happiness comes from being who we are meant to be. Doing what we want. Doing what we deep down NEED to do to be able to evolve as a species. Start to look beneath the surface. Do not attach yourself to external things. Do not tell yourself that your own value and sense of entitlement comes from your job, your car or your beautiful wife. It comes from within. Stop the desperate climb guys. You are already at the top.