Sunday, 23 January 2011

How to create a powerful vision

- Create a compelling vision that PULLS. For example, if you have decided to work out regurarly you have plenty of options when it comes to creating a vision. One vision could be all about your discipline, hard work and really pushing yourself. Another one could be all about the way you are going to look when the hard work starts to pay off and the attention you will attract from beautiful girls when your health is great. In reality there is nothing wrong with either of them, however you want to create a vision that pulls. What is most compelling for you? Working hard or looking extremely good and getting validation? If it is most compelling for you to get validation and look good, make it your vision. Ignore your own little inner moralist/self development voice that tries to ignore the need for approval. But DO NOT mistake this with the fact that you are doing it purely for yourself. The vision is just what pulls you forward. Reasons comes first. Answers comes second.

- Find enough reasons to support the vision when the going gets tough. I advice you to try to look beneth the surface on this one and focus on actions instead of outcomes/approval. If you work out regurarly for two years how will this effect other areas of your life? Are you going to become motivated to take action in other aspects of your life? Is the energy boost from working out going to create more oppertunities for you to do what you really want? Take a few minutes and really contemplate here.

- Create a VisionBoard. I would actually start with writing your vison down. The key is to be clear with what you want. Do not write “I want money”. Write how much money you want, how you are going to get it and so on. Be specific. When you have done that and covered all aspects of your vision create a VisionBoard. Add pictures that supports your vision. Do not just add some random pictures and then close the document. Take your time and look at them. Get aroused by the beatiful girls. Start to imagine things, visualize what you want to do. How do you want your life to be? Imagine if you would wake up one day without the feeling of neediness. Put on some chill music. Live in your own world. Do this for thirty minutes or more each day. After a while you feel aroused/relaxed/happy by just thinking about opening your document.

- Review it and FEEL it everyday. You can change your vision how much you like. Do not try to control what you desire, simply adjust your vision and move in a little bit of another direction. The difficult part here is to have a crystal clear vision that is beautiful yet you do not feel any resistance about changing it. Takes some time. If you want to take it a level further you can do what Steve Pavlina does. Which is to reinforce your vision by simply imagining the life you want whenever you have time to. Driving your car to work? Put on some music, think of your vision and start to spin your imagination. Going to bed? Sit down first for fifteen minutes and do the same thing.

- At this point reticular activation system (A part of the brain that filters and focuses on what is important.) starts to do its work. Notice as when you walk down the street your brain is more focused on finding more things that reinforces your vision. Oppertunities will start to show up. KEY - Use your courage here. Do not just wait for things to happen, make them happen. You are going to find a way or make a way.

- Raise your standards. This is not the same thing as raising your success barrier. It is simply to transform your “wants” into “musts”. You no longer want to work out four times a week. You must. The strongest force in the whole human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.

- Back up the standards with what is real – rituals. Things you do consistently to get momentum. This is very important. Human beings are creatures of habits. Create the habits that moves you closer to your core and a value offering mindset.

- The standards and beliefs we live with are often set a long time ago. We condition ourselves, ”it is the way I am” and we make it a part of our identity. Take a look at any place you got a limitation and ask when did I accept that limiting belief? You might not percieve it as a limitaion, just as I am. Start to question it. Remember that beautiful inner world of yours, that is actually more real than your limitation. Move towards it. Ask yourself everyday. Am I moving closer to manifasting my great inner world?

- Lastly view all this work as expanding your identity, not changing it. You do not need to change, you need to evolve.

Friday, 7 January 2011

It is only our willingness to feel worse that will make us feel better

When we are not as happy as we would like to be or when we have a feeling of lack, we tend to believe it is our willingness to feel better that is going to make us feel happy again. At least we think that it is the first step to feel great. We also like to stay in the emotional state we are in. If we are feeling down at home and watching television, we tend to want to stay there. Of course we are going to stay there if we believe that our willingness to feel good is what makes us feel good. I mean, we are already feeling down, why would we get up and spend more energy? That would make us feel even worse and it would drastically go against our willingness to feel good.

It is the same thing when we are at the club (or wherever we like to socialize). If we are sitting there comfortably with our friends, drinking and looking around, of course we want to stay there. We want to be happy, so why would we stupidly run around and approach people that might not like us? That is spending a lot of energy on something that might turn out bad. Idiotic we think, and light another cigarette.

I used to be that guy. Not anymore though. Sure, there are times when I just sit there with a glass of beer and literally do nothing. But you see, I only do that if I feel good already. I do not sit there and believe that it is going to make me feel any better. If that is what you are doing, you are making excuses. Some people do not even realize that if you are not doing anything due to a belief (it is my willingness to feel good that is going to make me feel good) that they are making excuses and not taking responsibility for the quality of their experience.

It is difficult for me to grasp how some people want to socialize and have fun but at the same time not taking action towards that goal. From my point of view, the people I am talking about here are usually guys but occasionally you see a group of girls in the same kind of mood. If you ask these guys why they are not approaching girls I have found out that they usually say that they do not want to get rejected. Well, is not this the ultimate kind of chodery?

If you would have asked the caveman back in cavemen days why he did not go out and hunt animals for food, would he tell you that he did not want to because of the risk of getting killed? No he decided to step up and take responsibility for himself and his people and go and kill those animals. On the rare occasion he would get killed. But again, we are approaching girls here, not lions.

It is only our willingness to feel worse that is going to make us feel better.

The willingness to be rejected and fail in the context of approaching girls will serve you well. Furthermore the principle can be applied to pretty much anything in your life. Your work, your health, your financial situation and in your relationships. Apply it to anything. If you are sitting there and skimming through different articles on RSDN in spite of taking action, think of this.

Let us bring it back to social conditioning guys. Think of what advertisement tries to put in our heads. The magic pill mentality. They are basically saying that if we just get this product or service we will become happy and never really have to feel bad again. Hell, a lot people are even chasing circumstances and external things their whole life that they believe will make them happy and protect them from ever feeling bad again. In spite of really living and realizing that feeling bad now and then is not going to kill you. I do not want that passive shit. I say fuck that. I want to live on my edge in a state comfortable uncertainty. Did you join this community thinking that if you just understand and apply what RSD teaches you will become perpetually happy and never risk to feel bad ever again? Well, think again.

It is actually the complete opposite of that. It comes down to defying social conditioning and realizing the truth about your limiting beliefs. And letting go of them, one after another. To me, it is about letting go of these shelters and layers that protects us from feeling vulnerable. And you know, feeling vulnerable can really suck if you are not used to it. But if you live your life through that feeling, plenty of opportunities will start to show up for you and eventually you will start to feel comfortable with your vulnerability. A man who is comfortable with feeling vulnerable is an attractive man.

(It is only our willingness to feel worse that will make us feel better, a quote from the book Radical Honesty written by Brad Blanton.)

Monday, 3 January 2011


This blog will soon become a website. Most likely

Keep your eyes open.

I will share the website with a guy that I have spoken to over RSDN(forum) about writing articles and offering value. He basically has the same vision about this as I have. I am very excited about this.


Saturday, 1 January 2011

The most awesome thing about self development

I have been into self development for three years now. It has been a crazy ride, an emotional roller coaster. I have learned a lot and finally I have been able to get some of the pieces together. My blog is a result of that. I have finally started to realize that my journey is for real. This is it. My life, unfolding every moment in front of me. I feel in charge, and it feels great. After years of blaming my parents, blaming my conditions and friends I can now finally look myself in the mirror and honestly tell myself that I take responsibility for the quality of my experience.

I am deeply starting to internalize the principles I have been studying throughout high school. What does it mean to trust yourself? What is core confidence? Why have I been so hard on myself for so long for no apparent reason? Why did I cry about my weight when growing up even though I was totally in shape and had the perfect amount of body fat? Why did I hate myself?

It starts to make sense now. Reality is entirely subjective, and you are in charge of it, weather you know it or not. I have been chasing circumstances and outcomes to be able to fill the empty place inside of myself and by believing that if I create a sense of self that has the best reflection in the eyes' of others, I will be happy. And I still do. We all do it to an extent and very few of us will be able to entirely erase the approval seeking pattern.

There is a time and place for me to tell my story. To take a deep breath and really look within. To let what I want to express about my past arise. To hold it and shape it. That time, however, is not now.

Now is a time to ask yourself a question. Why do you like yourself? Is it because you have worked so hard and finally your income is 40k a month? Is it because you finally hooked up with that beautiful bitch at the club? I mean, why in the name of god, are we guys so far up our own asses when it comes to girls? It is just a girl. She just wants to have fun. So should you.

And furthermore, how are we even able to create such a retarded “means to an end” identity for them? The alpha man back in cave man times did not give a damn about if the girls gave him approval or not. He just decided to step the fuck up and do what he could, to be able to carry himself through the world with the most strength and with the most ease. However, I believe that a man's core purpose in life is to be such a powerful and strong man that he is the best possible option for a woman. To take care of her. To create a feeling of security for her.

This is where most guys do not realize what to do. They do not realize that they have to flip the coin. To become a man who attracts beautiful girls you first have to become the man you want to become. Not after you have been with hundreds of girls can you tap yourself on your back and give yourself approval. No, the woman and the sex is not even the outcomes to strive for. It is a byproduct in process of becoming the man you want to become.

Society shapes us. It shapes us to look at the surface of things. To be confident in life we have to own the right things. We have to get the right job. We have to look good. We have to wear the best clothes. We have to manipulate our way through layers of bullshit to finally be able to like ourselves and others. We have to climb.

A lot of people believe that happiness comes from this, but ultimately happiness comes from being who we are meant to be. Doing what we want. Doing what we deep down NEED to do to be able to evolve as a species. Start to look beneath the surface. Do not attach yourself to external things. Do not tell yourself that your own value and sense of entitlement comes from your job, your car or your beautiful wife. It comes from within. Stop the desperate climb guys. You are already at the top.

Friday, 31 December 2010

What is it that you want? Ask and you shall receive.

If you read this article seriously and apply what I am going to lay out here, you will get what you want faster than if you would not do it. That is a fact. As with everything, the first step is to understand why it works. Firstly I want to emphasize the fact that reality is subjective, and the way you perceive things is entirely up to yourself even though reality is not what you think it is. Understanding this as a guy in this world, is a key in the process to become who you want to become.

However, I fully believe that if you want to create a rich and deep life or whatever, you should keep in mind that the reality in your head has to be as close as possible to the actual reality. The beautiful thing about that though, and I smile when I think of this, is that there is no separation between the two. You dictate your own reality. You are a god. If you do not understand that yet do not be hard on yourself.

Anyway, the fact that reality is ultimately subjective and how you perceive things dictates the actual reality you unfold every moment (self fulfilling-prophecy) is fucking powerful and you can consciously create the life you want. How do you do this? It is not as easy as just wanting to be happy and you shall become happy. No, it is a little bit more complicated than that. A little bit.

”If it’s not in your life, you didn’t want it fucking badly enough. Period.”

Owen Cook

We get what we ask out of life. We just have to ask specifically, intelligently and with clarity. Owen defines INTENT as the clarity in your thoughts, words and actions. That is it guys. You want to be a god with women? Well, ask for it. With clarity. “I want to make myself a god with women through hard work, intensive experiences and ultimately through coming into my power as a man.” The next step is to make it to different parts. Where are you at right now? If you have not made out with a girl in two years, asking for a threesome is not to ask intelligently. Remember the definition guys. We just have to ask specifically, intelligently and with clarity.

I am going to lay out my personal intentions here and how I fucking get what I want by asking for it and making it happen when it shows up in my subjective reality. Because that is ultimately what happens, when you ask for it, it shows up in your subjective reality. Do not think of your mum. You just did. Do not think negative thoughts because ultimately the universe do not know the difference between positive and negative. To get what shows up in your subjective reality is entirely up to yourself, this post will not make it happen for you, chode.

Some of my intentions for the past few weeks:

I want to make my blog as awesome as possible and I want to make other people like it because of the value it offers. Same thing with my articles on this forum. Furthermore I want to make people give me complements on it. Two weeks after I asked for this, guys started to tell me that I should work with writing articles like this in the future. A dude on this forum told me that this was just what he needed to read and that he loved it. Just what he needed to read, this is not ultimately fulfilling your goal, is it GaryBusey? Well, it is if I believe that it is. Period.

A month back I asked for more girls in my life. The last two weeks, I have had girls call me in the middle of the night. Girls approaching me on the streets and wanting to hook up. Girls giving me phone numbers without me asking for it. Of course I have taken action as well. I have done the EXACT same thing as these girls have done. You wonder why you are not getting approached? Well, start approaching. You attract what you are. If approaching girls is a part of your identity, you will attract girls that have the same type of identity but with guys.

One week ago I wanted to make love to an older girl, I thought. Two days ago I did.

Three weeks ago I started to ask for bisexual girls in my life. Lately I have been meeting bisexual girls, without me even knowing it at first.

For two months I ago I told myself that I want to make myself become unapologetic in my desires as a man and furthermore in my desires to offer value. And to make myself not give a fuck. Last night I choded out two older guys by telling them how retarded their faces looked, in front of ten other guys, who all were their friends. Did something bad happen? What do you think, of course not.

One month ago I wrote an article on surrounding yourself what you want to become. After that I started to make friends with people on Facebook from RSD and a guy with the exact same vision as me found me through my journal. I does not stop. It stops when you want it to stop.

Now, take action. Make a new document on your computer and name it : My intentions. And write down what you want in your life. Ask specifically, intelligently and with clarity. To get even more advanced you can make another document and call it what I receive and write down the things that you get out of life by asking for it. Just as I did.

What are you going to do when you find what you are looking for?

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

What is happiness?

Happiness is not something you can get. It is something you create. Growing up we are subconsciously taught, from soaking in social conditioning, that enjoyment comes from the never-ending stimulation through the media, for example. And that happiness is all about achieving certain things – the classic example would be becoming a celebrity and the massive attention that comes with that is in some way going to make us happy. That is, to me, truly absurd.

Sure, achieving certain things in life is great. But it is a byproduct of happiness, not what causes it. The same thing with being approved in any way, shape or form. Fully believing that achieving, getting stuff or being massively approved is going to make us happy is a form of neediness. Flip the coin. If you are happy, how easy is it to be approved by somebody? If you are happy, is it not much easier to go through with a project or fulfill a goal or even just to fucking do the most simple thing, then if you are doing it purely to gain something from doing it.

Well, now the question arises – how do we become happy? What makes us feel really fucking good? I mean getting shit can surely feel great, for a very little while. To portray this I want to tell you about my last Christmas experience. First of all I believe that Christmas is actually pretty fucked up, in way we view it(specially the way we condition our children to view it). The way we celebrate Christmas is the complete opposite of what actually, underneath the surface, is the main reason to even give a damn about it at all. To me Christmas comes down to get back to the fundamentals of things. Like, the Jesus- dude was born that day, that is how fundamental it is. But what do we do? We condition ourselves to believe that a good Christmas is all about buying the right gifts(and furthermore receiving the ones we want), to cook and eat the most delicious food and arrange everything as perfect as humanly possible. And last but not least that all this should make us happy. My mother cried throughout the entire Christmas-period due to how stressed she was.

(By the way, there surely are people out there that celebrate this holiday in an entirely different way, which is great. I am only speaking from my own experience here.)

Furthermore, during the holidays I have been feeling quite sick. I have not been able to leave the house, which inevitably lead to the fact that I could not buy anything at all to my parents and friends. Instead, in order to be able to keep up with the Christmas norms I told my mum and dad to buy me the gifts. When it was time to open these fancy packages I have to admit that I felt very excited about it. (To prove the point that I am not above this social conditioning shit at all, I fall into these patterns even though I consciously study them.) And surely I got what I wanted.

Did this make me happy?

Yes, for two minutes. In fact after these two minutes I felt a strong feeling of lack. What the fuck? I got what I wanted. Why do I feel this? Again, getting something will never make us feel fulfilled or completely happy. However, while reading this you might think “well, I understand that happiness comes from giving and not taking”. That is great, but I believe that we all have plenty of habits that we ultimately are not really aware of which are based on the belief that getting things will make us happy in some way. The most obvious one could be that you understand that watching television all day and getting stimulation is not going to make you perpetually happy. But believe me there are other examples that are muuuuch more subtle than that. Especially in social contexts. Examine yourself. What is that you are still doing that is based on believing that getting something will make you happy. In any fucking way.

Let me explain what real happiness is about to me. Keep in mind that what I going to lay out here is not in any way “the official way to become happy”(which would be the exact opposite of what I am trying to tell you as well as another form of conditioning.) From my point of view, to really “understand” happiness you need to keep two things in mind. The first one has to do with purpose. Is what I am doing right now(not only your longterm purpose but every minute) in alignment with my purpose? If you are at the gym, is what you are doing in alignment with becoming healthy, building muscles or whatever the reason you are there for, or are you simply going to the gym and chatting with your friends to waste some time so you can tell yourself and your dad that you went to the gym that day? If you have decided to evolve socially and you are out at a venue with a lot people, are you actually doing something that is in alignment with that purpose? The purpose to grow. Or are you longingly looking at the beautiful girls that are perpetually smiling and seems to have a good time? Just going out is simply not enough.

The thing with doing stuff that is in alignment with your purpose, is that it does not necessarily create happiness right away. Most of the time it does not. Remind yourself of this, every time you do not get the outcome you want. Actually if what you are doing is in alignment with your purpose how can you possible fail or let yourself down? One might ask, and I see this on this forum all the time, how do I stay motivated if I am not getting any results?

I mean approached eleven girls last night but only two of them turned around and gave me attention.”

Great, that is two more girls than if you would have stayed at home and watched Horatio speak his one liners left and right(again).

Furthermore, and this is the key to understand why having a clear purpose is even valuable at all and how having a purpose combined with this will make you inspired, motivated and happy. The key is to know that what you do will offer value to other people. To contribute. Think about this. You can apply this principle to basically everything in your life. Your social life, your work, your writing, your teaching and so on. The more things you do in order to make other people happy(which definitely is not the same thing as serving them), the happier you will become. It is close to impossible to be perpetually motivated and enthusiastic in life if what you are doing, your purpose, is not about offering other people value and furthermore to contribute to something much greater than yourself. Society for example.

Why do you want to fuck girls? To brag about it to your friends or to one day be able to teach dudes that came from the same position of fear as you did? To feel superior when a girl takes it in her mouth or to realize that living in sexual abundance and constant intimacy will increase all areas of your life so you can contribute even more to the world? Why do you want to be a social outgoing and fun guy? To impress other people with your personality or to simply put a fucking smile on other peoples' faces?

To contribute to the world is one thing to me and another thing to you. Owen said in the Blueprint(a series of dvds about attracting women if you are not familiar to RSD). That guys who join the community in order to attract and make love to women do no really find the happiness they wanted, the happiness they thought it would give them. Does that mean it makes them severally depressed? Not necessarily. It made me, though. (If you have not realized yet that all the stuff RSD speak about in their marketing copies of their products is not the end of all this, you have simply not come very far on your journey).


At first, you take more value than what you offer. It is simply a part of the process. If you are in that part yourself do not be hard on yourself, but remind yourself that life ultimately is not about getting results(beautiful women) but to contribute to the world. (To teach how to attract beautiful women, for example, as well as giving them long orgasms a long the way).

If you are familiar with RSD you have definitely heard about “offering value”. The thing is, you will not offer value if you do something so you can tell yourself that you are fucking awesome because you are offering value. That is the opposite of offering value. If you offer value you are simply awesome. If you tell yourself that you are going to offer value just because you have heard that this will make you happy, you are not going to offer value. (You can to an extent, I guess. But it will not feel nor appear genuine). You offer value because you want to offer value.

This became a long fucking post and I want to end it by saying that at first, when you offer value, resistance will surface. Actually a kind of resistance that feels very much like the resistance you feel in your body when somebody tries to take value from you. However do not let this stop you, use your willpower to push through it. Eventually you will feel good. Pretty fucking good.

If you have not realized it yet, the title for this article is a scam, it will not make you happy. But if you like it be sure to check out my blog.